February 13 2010 10:14 pm

Well I finally told Jess how I felt about her. I told her it ain't gonna work because there was sex without meaning. There was no longer any connection I felt for her. She called me a lier, a bastard, told me I used her. What else is new, like I haven't heard those sort of words before. It doesn't even matter to me anymore. I know what I am and I wont let the angry words of some girl slow me down. It's not what I need, not after the night's Ive been having. I know what I want and Alycia wants me too. I just have to open to her and tell her how I feel. I know she'll take me back and this time I wont break her trust. I wont let her go this time. I will hold her and have her close to me where she belongs. I am going to work hard to keep her there. I know I can't make it without having someone being there for me. She will be there for me. I know I'm reaching somewhat of an end, my body is giving up and breaking. What sort of end is this that is coming upon me, I have no idea but I do feel like I'm dying. I haven't had a proper sleep in so long.... It hurts so much, this burden I carry. The drugs are tempting me, starring at me telling me to come join them. But I say no, not now. I have Alycia and she has me. I just hope she will be there for me if I come calling and that she will allow me to help her.....