ADMIT IT!!!

Alright it's winter break and a Monday. I went to see the boy toy today and we had fun, we watched Interview With The Vampire. Personally, I love the movie. I don't like how it's actually really off from the book, not as off as Queen of The Damned is but that's a different matter altogether.

I'm still not sure how exactly I feel about him. I mean when I'm with him yeah it's good, but when I get home I don't miss him like "oh my god, I NEED HIM!". I haven't felt that in a very very long time...then again I'm only 16.

When he's not in my life I miss him, but then again it could just be me being single and the teen aged hormones in my blood.

We promised to move slow and not give ourselves a title. I'm scared I'll cheat but then if I give myself room to fear that, there will be room to actually do that. But as I said I'm not sure of my feelings. Maybe I'm just too scared to commit? Maybe I'm a whore?

Well it's been about a month since then and his father knows we're dating again, and now he wants to tell his mother. Fine I guess, but I'm scared that by him telling his mother that'll be like snapping the ball and chain around my ankle. She hates me for breaking his heart three years ago, but COME ON LADY! I was 13! But I don't have a right to tell him "No, don't tell your over protective mother" I mean, both my parents know, it wouldn't be fair to not let both his know.

I don't know what to do, truthfully just writing this has taken a lot off my chest.

But there's no other boy. So there's no harm in just going with it yeah? I mean it's not like MY prince charming is going to come riding in on a B.A motorcycle sweep me off my feet and take me to some big amazing city and rescue me from this dull and lifeless town. I mean, I'm only 16.

And so that's what I tell myself, I'm only 16. There's so much more coming my way, I can't let him and this all get me down.

Help?