Don't get me wrong, I adore babies. I've wanted to be a mammy since I hit puberty. But my problem with this is that I always wake up with my arms like... cradling thin air and I miss my dream babies like hell. ;(
First it was my nieces. I dreamt that my sister didn't want them (now that would never happen, lulz) and she gave them to me. I looked after Ruby, she's two, and my dad looked after Darcie, who's like, two and a bit months old. But there was some disaster (I think it was a flood, I'm not good at remembering details of dreams) and I think I died but she lived. And oh, god it was depressing.
Not that Ruby's in my good books right now. Cheeky shit, last time she came here to sleep, she slept in my room 'cause I was up my mam's, and she ripped my favourite poster of Frank Iero's face. Little bugger.
And then last night, this adorable little monster (she was a randomer. I don't remember her name) got lost from her mommy, who was running away from her, and I picked her up and carried her away. Because her papa was gonna kill her because she was a girl, and he wanted a boy. And so I took her in, I was her mommy. And it was lush. And then a boy I've had a one night stand (more or less. It's hard to explain) with came over and we were a happppy little family. Ahahahah.
But I woke up upset because I didn't want to wake up. It was perfect. I miss my little baby girl in a a weird way, to be honest. I don't know how I feel about that guy showing up in my head. I mean, I know that one would never happen.
My dreams have got a lot more vivid, and brighter, and interesting, since I started smoking weed. I actually look forward to going to sleep now, and for years I had horrible nightmares every time I went to bed so I hated sleeping. But now my dreams are happier and I remember them better. I'm not a heavy smoker or anything. And I haven't even had a joint in like, a month. I miss the Christmas holidays. I was pretty much stoned throughout the whole thing. :') happy days.
But I dunno. It reminds me of Breaking Dawn when Bella's always dreaming that she has a baby, and then she figures she's pregnant. And she says "oh my god, the food, the addiction to eggs, the dreams!?" or something, as if that's the explanation. Jesus Joseph bloody Hell, I better not be pregnant, hahahah. I'm not even gonna contemplate being pregnant, actually. Last time I did that I convinced myself I was actually up the duff and when I got my period I nearly killed myself because I felt like I'd "lost" my baby. Still miss my imaginary baby, actually.
Yep, I'm weird.
I'm gonna go before I freak you guys out anymore. :)
Byeeee!
Not registered?
Create an account