Terrible Words From My Brain To You.. (swear words)

Mmkay.. So..
I feel like absolute crap..
It seems that the only time I put in a journal entry is when I feel like stabbing people..

So there's a guy...
Yep typical.. Huh..
FUCK!
Excuse my colorful french, but I can't believe what he said to me..

I suppose I should tell you what happened before all this.. Yeah..

So I have been crushing on him MEGA-LY for about two years and so we spent a day together a while ago in the holidays.. We kissed and blah.. Due to my Internet being a fuckerr I couldn't get on-line to talk to him so the next time I spoke to him was when school went back, that was about two weeks after the day together.
He asked me out.. I didn't know if I wanted to or not.. so I sorta ummed (stupid me) and he told me it's okay, you can think about it..
So I did.. Next day I said yes, and he changed his mind within about three minutes of that.. I didn't really mind, infatuated much?

He asked me again a day or two later I said yes...
I had a terrible feeling that we'd crash and burn..
Two days later... WHATDOYOUKNOW! I had a complete brain fuck up and dumped him..
I told him that I wasn't worth being sad over.. I really didn't want to hurt him.. But I did.. Obviously.

Yep, so all was quiet for a while after that..
I was bored so I decided to talk to him..
It was a basic sort of conversation, I wanted to build up trust again, I don't like not being trusted.
Stupid.

TODAY, we were playing around being complete idiots having a poking fight, flirting basically yes..

And then onto this after noon on IM, I was complaining about my fish and suddenly he said (direct quote here)
you have been annoying me lately so
And then He blocked me.
I thought that I'd gotten somewhere with the trust shit..
Apparently not.

Ilove him, but now I'm not so sure he's as good as I thought..

Xx Haushinka

P.S. I apologize for the curse words, bu they help :)