a piece of the cake

So, it's not actually a journal entry but part of a story I have recently started to write.
Enjoy!

I didn’t want to go on, I wanted to just let him hold me in his strong protecting arms and make it all go away. I wanted this never to have happened. I wanted to go back six months and just put the clock on pause. But I couldn’t.

“Zach, that’s not what I mean. I don’t want to lose you but... I can’t be with you.” I felt my voice crack as more tears started to form in the corners of my eyes.

I looked at him, straight in the eyes, trying to read his thoughts. I don’t think I have ever felt worse than I did at that moment. He didn’t say anything in what seemed like a lifetime. His tight hold began to loosen as he started to grow weaker. Tears had started to form in his eyes as they slowly made their way down his pale face.

All that he could manage was, “Why?” and with that one word it showed so much pain and hurt. It seemed such a struggle for him manage just that.

But instead of replying I touched his face, he now felt clammy. I wiped away his tears for them only to appear again. And even then, seeing him this upset I still couldn’t tell him the truth.

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