Pain Of An Absent Father

I've been in a conflict to write this journal or no, because I'd hate to be attacked for complaining but I think this is a complaint with a pretty good reason.
Lately I've been thinking about my Dad, how I wish he was in my life.
No, he's not dead.
No, he isn't in another state
His heart and mine are just....seperated.

I barely know my real Dad, he barely knows me.
But the pain of not having a Father Daughter relationship gets to me some days.
Others may say "Pick up a phone and call him"
But I can't even decide if having a relationship with him is worth it.
He's lied to me, he cheated on my Mother probably more times Tiger Woods has cheated (and probably he has cheated more times those jokes about him have been made).
But you might understand if you are just not good with expressing your feelings to family members. I know it's a whole bowl of awkward for me.

I guess then I shouldn't complain, since neither one of us makes time to see each other.
Just wish I could have some sort of positive male rolemodel in my life that is not in a band and actually knows me. Brothers are out of the question, they treat me the same way as my Dad.

*sigh* Sometimes I do feel like the Crazy A** Nympho With Daddy Issues.
Well, minus the Nympho part.