Family? No I don't want it

Why must I wake up at 1 25 a:m and hear my mother and aunt arguing over men. My mom is shouting at my aunt that she fucks a gay man and he doesn't want her pussy and shit like that. My aunt acts my mom "Didn't you fuck your cousin? That's pretty gross". My mom starts yelling at my aunt that yes she did and he had the best abs and no fat and more shit like that. I didn't want to hear anymore I was in a rage so bad I was shaking. I got up quietly, carrying my brother:6 and my baby cousin:3 into my room so their sleep would become no more troubled and they wouldn't be scared when the violence took place.

I was still angry and disgusted but I didn't let these feelings show I had no desire to cry as I passed by my screaming mother into my bedroom. I sat the children down thinking "Why can't it be fucking normal for me once?" yes my mom did fuck her third cousin and it's not something I'm proud of she also got pregnant while still seeing my dad. I don't like to admit these things and it is with these feelings that I write cynical and somewhat depressing stories but I also use these feelings to write my most happiest ones. The one when the girl gets away from all her troubles and reaches her goal in life no matter what. I'm sad and angry and disappointed in this family all again the one that set no goals for themselves the ones where I am an outcast in.

Your own family? Yes, my own family I'm so different from them you wouldn't think they raised me because I have my own morale, my own everything. So I write knowing I have no dear friend that will let me cry on her or on his shoulder and console me with sweet words. I write because the shaking rage can be hidden but won't go away to I do. I write for my benefit knowing that when small everyday things happen like this I only want to advance in school further and become somebody even more. It's been way worse, after all. There are so many scars and memories that plague me to be better because if I don't it might happen to me.

So I feel inspired to become better already not that i needed an inspiring more than I already have. I have to prove my worthiness so that one day I can set myself apart and leave this sad, cursed family to hold their curse because I will not fall into it.
I write knowing that I will be better and live happily one day because that's the only way.
So I put down the paper and pen I stop typing because I am better I am content.
I am ready to face the next day.