Not Bob. Not now. Not today.

Aw, fu--...ahem, fudge.

I thought this was some stupid little rumor from some obscure, bs little tabloid site until I actually pulled up the home page here.

I'm at a loss.

I'm...I'm scared, I'm angry, and I'm sitting here trying not to break down in tears in the middle of my art class like the crazy, broken frightened little kid I am right now.
How...how on earth do you take something like this? How do you adjust to it? Fully take it in and accept the fact that one of the five people who helped save your life only a few summers ago is...is gone?

Completely gone, and you'll never get the chance to thank them as long as you'll live?

It happened so suddenly.

I know he's not dead. I know there's some ridiculous, pathetically hopeful off chance that I could pass by him on the sidewalk some day.

But...he won't be Bob Bryar of My Chemical Romance anymore. He won't be a part of something so monumental it's changed the lives of tens of thousands, if not millions.

He was the quiet one from the moment he joined. Mikey was, too, but he grew out of it. (In a good way.) Bob...I dont know, I guess him staying that way showed me that you can be an introvert and still make something of yourself. You can still be strong and be quiet all the time. It's not weakness, it's...I dunno, being observant? Taking everything in? I don't know what I'm on about, here. I'm just sort of feeling lost right now.

...

...I don't know what I'll do when a replacement is found.
It wont be the same. He won't be the blue-eyed ginger-haired one with the muscle and the lip ring and the hatred for cameras that the fandom pokes fun at him for. He won't have wrist issues that break your heart, he won't have the same soft, mumbling voice that makes everyone else quiet while he stares at the floor and answers an interviewer's questions. He won't have the same smile, he won't put the same amount of heart and soul and sweat and blood and agony into his drums.

MCR has lost its pulse.
I won't give up. I'll keep the faith. I'll keep listening. I won't leave.
...but it'll still hurt like hell.