IT'S OVER

My examinations just ended last Thursday. I'm a free bird! I can finally stay up at night and sleep in without getting in trouble. I'll be going to college in a few months. Finally, my high school life is over.

BUT

that's not the only thing that ended.
My life ended last Monday when I found out that my ex-boyfriend is engaged. He knows that I still have feelings for him and he gets engaged. My friend Eri called his fiancee "a fugly bitch" and I couldn't help but agree. I mean, I LOVE HIM and he gets engaged. I bawled my eyes out. I screamed. I nearly went back to hurting myself.

I mean, come on!

We only broke up because of word going around. I thought when the rumors would die down, everything would go back to how they were. THEN THIS HAPPENS.

Then when I thought I was over it, he messages me that he doesn't want to meet up with me or anything because he has "plans" for his future. Talk about salt on an open wound.

The next day, he tells me he was wasted with his friends and he was sorry for being so inconsiderate. Then now, he comments on her facebook page that they're going to have babies?!?!?

He doesn't even chat with me anymore. He just goes offline everytime I IM him. That's just mean. I'm getting over him but he said we were still friends. FRIENDS that don't talk to each other anymore????

I'm so confused really. And his younger brother is sending me signs to. I'm scared now.

I don't want to feel anything anymore. I wanna become numb and avoid all this pain. I even get images in my head how he would react if I just off-ed myself. But then that's just too much.

HELP ME. TT_TT