"What happened to your eyebrows?"

Okay,this is the first time I've actually talked about my disorder,so please,no mean comments.This is a really touchy subject for me,but I just NEED to talk about this.It's driving me nuts to not talk about it.

It all started when I was 12.I was so stressed out,I needed to do something.It kicked in,and I started to go downhill from there.
I have Trichotillomania (Trich for short).Trichotillomania is disorder that causes you to obsessively pull hair out from any part of the body.I pull it from my eyebrows and eyelashes.
I started pulling,and I felt instant pleasure.It was like a form of self abuse,but not as brutal and bloody.
When I got done with my first plucking,my eyebrows were almost bald.I put eyebrow makeup on them to cover up the shame written on them.I thought my eyebrows looked fine,and I went half a semester without people staring at them or saying anything about them.Then I started to get comments about them.Not bad or mean,just people saying,"What happened to your eyebrows?".It made me uncomfortable and kind of sad when they asked.I couldn't just say,"I have a disorder that causes me to pull out my eyebrows." I felt like such a freak.
Then people would bully me,saying things like,"Look at the different-eyebrows-everyday-girl!".Most would laugh,others would stare at my eyebrows.
My mom noticed also,and took me to the therapist.She took an "evaluation" on me to see why I was doing what I was doing.I lied on almost everything.She said I was fine,I knew I wasn't,because I was spiraling into depression due to all the teasing I got.I hated myself.I was ugly,fat,and I didn't have any eyebrows.
Later,my family would make fun of me.They'd make fun of me.I had to fake a laugh so they wouldn't think I was a baby,but every time they made fun of me,I died a little inside.They'd say things like,"Hey,you see that baby with no eyebrows? That's how you look." Again,I felt like a freak.
To all the Trich victims out there,you're not alone.There are people out there that are going through the same thing.
And to every one who isn't a victim if Trich,please be nice to people who you think have weird eyebrows.Please don't say anything them.Because who knows? They could be like me.
March 14th, 2010 at 06:49am