Dating and Destruction

You know how sometimes there's that guy? You know he's not the one you'e going to marry, but you think, yeah, we could last a while...
Wait, first maybe I should explain my dating history. I have had a total of 3 boyfriends. Danny, Dan B, and Dan J.
Weird, right? That was actually not on purpose at all.
Danny is gay. He wasn't back in high school. We went to prom my senior year and he and I had my first kiss on the dance floor. Yes, feel free to awww over that, but as I have mentioned, he is now gay. We lasted three months and by the end, he was not answering the phone when I called and when he would answer, he would tell me that he would have to call me back. Then never did.
(We're still good friends)
Dan B I met in one of my classes first semester of college. We hit it off right away. But he was very clingy and I need independence. He's a great guy and we still talk occasionally, but I was not happy. Very sweet, very adorable, but needy.
Dan J. This guy is the guy who I mentioned in the beginning. I thought we could really be together for a while. He would be sweet on occasion, but didn't let me bully him or make him do things.
We broke up just before Christmas. It was mutual, though I had hoped that we would get back together after the holidays. No such luck.
I really liked him. Hell, I'll be open. I loved him. He said he loved me too and it sounds sooo freaking cliche, but I don't think he meant it.
It's sad, that three months later, I'm still thinking about it. But I can't stop myself from thinking about him. He was a jerk. I know this. I deserve better. I know this too. He was mean and hurt my feelings and made me hate him. But I still loved him.
Everyone is telling me I am better off. I try to move on, but just when I think I am, he pops back in and gives me another reason to look back and think about all the times we had together.
Most recently, he decided to tell me that he had thought about breaking up with me for one of our friends, who I will call Jane. She is a red head and likes to make out with as many boys as possible when she is drinking. This sounds horrible, but she is not that pretty and is pretty bitchy.
So my question, WHY DIDN'T HE?
I thought he really cared but apparently the whole time he was thinking of this other girl and being with her. Maybe this answers some questions, maybe he was trying to get me to break up with him when he was being a real jerk, but maybe that was just how he was...

I feel like this post was a big waste of time. Sorry if you spent your time reading it and don't care. My bad.