March 16 2010

Nobody truly understands what goes on inside a mind like mine. Sleep is a pleasure I no longer take part in enjoying. My body screams with pain during the night. Fears of death always upon me. When I do manage to sleep, I wake shortly after after to find myself in a pool of sweat and blood. People don't understand these things that go on inside my mind. Even as the doctors look at me, they won't look into my eyes. It's almost like they know the fate that is coming down upon me. It's like they see Death waiting above my head, just waiting for the one moment were mind and body break apart from this reality I seem to be stuck in. Thoughts are always apparent. They haunt me like a knife gouged deep into my back. It's just telling me to push a little harder and it will all be over....