Pissed

I lost my best friend. She is gone and out of my life now. I lost her in that split second and I can't do anything about it. I was stupid. She was stupid. But now she is pissed off at me. I am crying all the time now thinking...what just happened? I think about it everday how it could have gone down differently. She has been my best friend for 10 years...and now she is gone. Gone, gone gone, GONE! I am so pissed off at her. But, I loved her and I miss her. I hope she misses me too. :( I have other friend and stuff, but she is the person I will never forget. I just wish I could rewind things and start over. I can't do anything...I am useless in this fight. It is ove. OVER. No more late nights, laughing, texts, talking about guys...all of that is gone. I can't change it.