Excuse Me Dear

So I have to revise a poem for my midterm. I chose Excuse Me Dear.
I changed it up a little. What do you guys think. Do you think its for better or worse.
In class I've been told I need to add more imagery to my work. I tried that with this poem.
I think it's a little better. The final copy which I have has italic words. I tried using letter imagery as well. Mibba wont let me show it.
To me the poem seems a bit more vindictive and a little less playful.
I'm really interested in hearing your opinions.
Your insight would be very helpful with my class and my growing progress as a writer.
Thank you.