Why am I like this?

I think I'm depressed.
Yes,I said it.I think I'm depressed.However,I'm not sure.I can still smile and laugh.But I don't feel truly happy.
Okay,let me tell you a bit about my life,and what's wrong.
Home life:
1.) My mom gets too mad,too easily.I can't ever talk to her about serious things,like if she's getting something she doesn't need.I know that that isn't anything that I should get worked up about,but I was just giving an example.
2.)Thrifting.My mom thrift shops too much,and it's overwhelming our house and our lives.It's not anything that we can't fix,it'll just take a lot of work.Our house is just too messy to let anyone in,and I feel guilty that I go in my friends houses (if there's a person that actually wants to be their friend) all the time,but I can't let them in mine.This also goes hand-in-hand with the first thing.I can't talk to her about it,or else she'll get mad.
And there's a bunch of little things that I really can't elaborate on.
School life:
1.) Friends.I don't have many people I can call "friend".Actually,almost none at all.There's one girl that I guess I can call a friend,but I've become so withdrawn that I barely call her anymore.And I barely see her at school.Besides the girl,I only have 1 friend.And I don't really feel that she likes me that much.I feel as if she just puts up with me.
2.)Invisibility.It's like I'm invisible at school.Nobody talks to me,and nobody wants to.It has its advantages,it's just that I wish I was spoken to a little more.
How I feel:
1.)Trichotillomania.This is a huge reason of why I'm so withdrawn.It's a hair-pulling disorder (I have another journal entry elaborating on it).It's taken over almost all of my life,and my mind.Well,go read the entry about it.I talk about it a lot more.
2.)I'm withdrawn.I hate to go outside,and the only people I talk to when I'm out of school is my family.I don't sit in bed all day,but all I really do is go on the computer.I don't really wanna go anywhere.
3.)Low self-esteem and self-worth.Both of those are extremely low.I feel like I'm too fat and ugly for anyone to love me or care about me.I feel like nobody gives a sh*t about me.

So,would you say I'm depressed?
March 23rd, 2010 at 12:15am