I'm sorry

I'm sorry.
Deeply sorry.
I don't know how clear I can make it.
Driving back home with her, wasn't easy.
I couldn't get to sleep last night.
I stayed up until 2:30 AM.
Only thing that went through my head is you telling me, "Babe, you need your rest.".
If I could do anything at the moment, it would be to rewind time so everything that happened never occurred.
I stood there and I watched in agony.
She would have you arrested she said.
Only thing?
You did nothing wrong.
So, you have nothing to worry about.
But you feel like you're pulling me back.
I think otherwise.
She doesn't understand.
She asks "Why?" and sobs.
But I told her the truth.
What's there to be upset about.
Then she says, "Why can't you just be normal like me?"
Oh please,
You're no where near normal.
As far as I know, No one is normal.
What is this thing you call 'normal'?
Is it deadly?
It sounds horrid.
Everyone is different in their own way.
Like me.
She continues.

She says "Why can't you have any black people on here?".
She's talking about my photo folder. It's covered in Avenged Sevenfold photos and icons I find.
That has always been the question.
You're gay, she says.
I'm not. I know what I am.
I know I love you.
And that nothing is going to change that.
She can't send the police after you.
Yeah babe, they sent that letter back.
You're probably scared.
Don't worry I am too.
I love you and we're not over.
We won't be for a while.
I feel like I've hurt you tremendously.
I am ridiculously guilty and it floats over my head like a gray cloud.
What I can understand sweetheart is...
She had no problem with 18 year old "MEN" trying to get in my pants and almost raping me at the front door but, when a 19 years old "WOMAN" comes into my life she has to defend and push you away.
Maybe it's jealousy. Envy.
That another older woman will come into my life and push her out.
There's more to come.
This is just the beginning.

C.L.B
You know who you are.
I love you. Remember that.
Dakota foREVer.