What's it feel like to be a ghost?

It's been months since I have written anything in my journal. I wouldn't say that I ran out of things to write, but rather, isolated from society. The life I have treasured is now lost in someone else's thoughts. I have grown attached to my own nightmare; my worst enemy. These words have yet to reveal itself "Move on with your life." My identity now remains in my past and has disappeared along with my soul. Some people say time will heal you, time shall disassemble every detail of your agony and replace strength, but if 'time' was the key, then why do I continue to suffer?
I am not necessarily crying for hours, gasping for a breath of air, and reaching out to a random stranger for pity and strength, but I prefer to be alone. I prefer to uncover my true personality day after day. After every step that I take, I remain lost and unworthy. Through exile, I might reveal my own demon. I might be able to escape this aching fury or even continue to write until my knuckles bleed.
I cannot live in my past nor do I choose to live in the present. I am simply wandering in the shadows and being led by a broken path. I used to rely on someone, or anyone who chose to provide sympathy for a broken soul, but now I am living alone. Does it hurt you ask? Yes. Of course. When I lie awake in this empty apartment, I remember every detail of my suicidal attempts. Do I regret any of it? Maybe... or maybe I wish to have succeeded so then I would not have to stare blankly into my bathroom mirror, trying to search for my soul again.
It's more than apathy. It's not empathy. It's meant to be...
I was meant to wander curiously into an open road, where I might lose my innocence and get road-killed by a maniac or lose my sanity by isolating myself until someone comes to look for me. She was meant to roam freely into a new area, where she will find a new pack to run with. Wolves, if one is deserted then it is forced to live on its own and care for itself. I am that lone-wolf. Who knows if I will be able to survive, but no matter where I go, this pain will remain in my heart.
You try to convince me to reconsider my decision, but I say.... it has already begun, my friend....