Decay, the effect of time.

I used to hate saying goodbyes. The finality of a goodbye was saddening to me. However, I've come to realise that goodbyes are nothing to hate. Sooner or later, things come to end. And of course, nothing lasts forever. How many times has that saying popped up in one of your conversations? One too many probably. It is true though, nothing does last forever. Here I am, about to graduate from a school I joined seven years ago. Of course when I newly joined, it seemed like a never ending journey. I don't think I could properly imagine my life past school at that point. And the truth is, I still can't. I do have visions of the kind of job I'd be doing and the where I'd buy my office clothes from. But I can't seem to picture my life where I wake up everyday to go to work and not a school. I guess that's fine because I still have university to get through and the work aspect of life hasn't quite sunk in yet. But that's the thing, it will be a blink of an eye before I'm done with university too and I'll be laying in bed, thinking about this whole new chapter of my life. Things come to an end and sometimes they are more noticeable than others. When I was in the midst of my GCSE exams, I couldn't really imagine what it'd feel like to have those things done and over with. GCSEs are long gone now and now I am completely and utterly indulged in the IB programme. It's strange - how things are constantly coming to an end. I guess sometimes we forget to acknowledge the end as we are too busy acknowledging the new beginning. That's a good approach though, to focus on the beginnings rather than the end. But I just think that if I took a little time to look objectively at a goodbye, I'd notice that it's not all about the ending. I tend to see most goodbyes, and I mean the more sensitive ones related to the people in my life, through fogged glasses. Fogged glasses in the sense that I focus only on the loss and seem to lose all ability to think that, maybe, just maybe there is a reason this is happening for a reason, perhaps a good one at that. It's true, some people leave your life just because of the circumstances, but some people leave your life because it doesn't work out between the two of you. This is often hard for me to accept as I over-think the reason for why it didn't work out. I have a tendency to view things in black and white, and I suppose that's the reason behind me wondering just WHY it did not work out. I always need a reason, a solid, backed up reason. I feel as though it is necessary to notice the grey areas too. Sometimes someone leaves your life just because you two don't seem to work out, no matter how prolonged their stay has been. I like to focus on the positives which is what wears me out, because I think about all the things that were going right, so where did it go so wrong. It isn't until now that I am starting to see the bigger picture.

Some goodbyes are needed, simply for the reason for you to let time freshen your heart.