I'm going to have to give Ryan an ultimatum, either he starts paying attention to me and being a better boyfriend or I'll end it. It's not something that I want to do but his attitude really fucking stinks lately and it's getting on my nerves.
My dad is having a slumber party tomorrow night. All his mates are staying over. My dad hasn't got an age deficiency or anything it's just his friends live quite far... also their kids are coming... should be... fun? However, I think that I may be forced to give up my bed. If me and Ryan are getting along better then I may just go and stay at his. I need some time away from home...
His younger brother hates me and I'm not sure why and his mum accused me of being anorexic 'cause I wasn't hungry when she offered food but at 2am when I was and Ryan offered food I accepted. So yeah, apparently I'm an anorexic who hates to eat in front of people. The eating in front of people is true but I'm not anorexic, if anything I'm the total opposite. I want to gain weight...
Anywho, my dad has been decorating for the last three days. I hate it when dad decorates. Hate, hate, hate it. The whole place gets turned into turmoil and chaos and everything gets dusty... you would have thought he would have covered the furniture? No, I have to hoover and then scrub the leather sofas.
I've realised just how shit I am academically... I mean, I'm really shit at exams. I know all the stuff but I can't do exams and I don't know why, so I've been doing practice papers in time for my mocks. :)
I deactivated Facebook but it means that I can't get hold of anyone or anything. I don't want to go back on there 'cause I'll be on there instead of revising. At least with Mibba I can hardly ever be bothered with writing a journal or anything so it shouldn't be too hard to revise. I also think that I have to hep at church, not have, I should. They have holiday club and it would be nice for them to have some help... and it's not a lot of time out of my time and I can still healthily balance everything ie. revision, Ryan (maybe), The Office and such. So yeah... oh and I have to apply for a job.
I have been writing shit loads of journals lately but I think that's 'cause I've been watching The Office online and in between I guess that it's therapeutic to vent and also to exercise my mind so that I don't become a couch potato.
I should probably try to get to my nan's at some point in Easter but I don't have any money to get the train there and I doubt that any fucker will come and get me. I don;t want to be there for too long, just to get a short break away from everyone... ie. Ryan. I want him to feel what I feel when I don't see him for days on end like I have this week. Whatever, enough about him.
So yeah... Easter. I should probably use it as a time for reflection. I should go to church on Sunday but I can't actually make it. I'm such a bad Christian. =/
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