I'm so upset at myself

So i had stopped cutting for almost 1 year and 9 months but i started back up on valentines day because of people sending me messages on my facebook. this might seem like a stuoid reason but if you knew the whole story you would understand. I am so upset at my self for starting back up. i wish everyday that i could go back in to time and redo my life. my friend says shes not mad at me but i wish she would be. I don't cut myself on my arm i cut my self on my legs because i never wear shorts i always wear pants nowadays. i wish that i could stop but i cant. i'm afarid that i might not be able to ever stop again. i odn't know wha tt odo anymore. i have tried going to see a theripist and i have tried depression drugs neither of them helped me at all. Any one have any ideas please