So it's been dead nice these last two days. All summery which means time to pull out the barbies and the booze xD I love the summer. Nice and hot.
Tonight we had BBQ food, mum cooked it 'cause dad was ill- I'd rather she hadn't bothered. Instead of steak, lamb an pork chops I had charcoal... mmm. I'm betting next Christmas and my body will have got half way through digesting the bricks I've just consumed. 'Kay, that's slightly mean...mum doesn't usually do the BBQ and unlike my dad she just doesn't have the Australian blood running through her like my dad does which enables him to cook decent, nice BBQ food. Meh.
I'm so tempted to drink the bottle of Archers that Ryan brought for me to drink at the party tomorrow. Like really tempted. I had some this morning but I know he'll grill me if he finds I've already started on it, I'm just so... hmm... thirsty for some alcohol? Jesus, it's happening, I'm turning into my father and the rest of his family. Oh well...
I wanted to go tomorrow as a female 1920s gangster; the costume didn't fit. So yeah. I want to go as a flapper, they were considered bad at the time. Unless you were a horny man who was slightly good looking. Yeah anyway, so within society's standards at the time I guess they were quite villainous? But...heroic? In a sense of woman's rights? I have a serious obsession with 1920s America...
Why wont my boyfriend tell me that I'm pretty? Like spontaneously. Sometimes I don't think that he finds me attractive. I don't think I'm pretty, surprise surprise. And at one point I was okay with having a few spots... if someone's face is really clear then they look too plain, spots make them not so plain... now I hate them. They're seriously getting me down and my dad points them out in front of my boyfriend and makes me really self-conscious, it annoys me so much.
I've had a good few days with Ryan. We haven't argued. Everything's good. I'm happy with him... kind of. Things are still upsetting me that I can't talk to him about. But other than that... it's been nice just cuddling him and hopefully tomorrow night we can get rat-arsed at this party stay for a few hours and then go to the pub or if I'm lucky he'll take me to the golf course. xD I love him. He must be one of the best and worst things that could have happened to me. He's the only guy I've cried over and the only one I can't imagine my life without. The hardest thing was seeing him with his old girlfriend and liking him so much and feeling that I could never have him. But I got him. And I'm willing to forget everything and make a fresh start.
...I plan to tell him all of this when I'm drunk.
He's my bestfriend as well, I tell him mostly everything. And I really hope that he comes with me to Australia. I really hope. And, I'm not keen on marriage but...
I know I'm only sixteen and it's only been ten months, but I know what I want. And it's so cheesy and cliché and I hate cheesy and cliché... but when you know, you know. And I know. :)
I'm so happy with him at the moment, minus the minor things that I have to chat with him about... again need to be drunk.
Anyways, back to The Office. Let me know about the costume suggestions.
Love to all, x
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