Sexual Abuse

Okay, as some of you may know, I was sexually abused when I was younger.
I've pretty much gotten over it. It took a while, yes, but I'm better now.
It's the past.

I have a story about it, it's called "Scarred angel", it explains more. Go read if you want. I don't really care if you don't. Anyways, I was about 7 when it started and it went on for 3 years. I'm 15 now, and, like i said, i've gotten over it.

Anyways, today, I was on myspace, and I stumbled across that person's myspace. She was in the "People you might know' section. She's my cousin. Her mood was "At peace wit myself".

Ugh! How the hell can someone possibly be at peace with themselves when they've done something like that over and over again!?!

And I know it wasn't just me, because after, when i had told on her, she confessed that she had done it to someone else, but I didn't want to know who.

I just can't see how someone could be at peace with themselves after something like that. If I ever did that to anyone, I would never be 'at peace' with myself. EVER!
I would hate myself!

I am pretty much over everything that had happened, but after I saw her myspace, I threw up. I seriously threw up. Just seeing her again, and everything. I just could handle it. I ran to the bathroom and puked!

The last time I had seen her was when I was 11, and she was 13. I didn't want to ever see her again. But I just did. And I puked.

Sexual abuse is such a horrible thing. Sometimes, I wish she knew, just how much what she did hurt me. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
I would get attacks at night, just thinking about what she did. Trying to figure out what, exactly it is that she was doing to me.

This totally ruined my night.

I'm going to have nightmares now.

I'm not looking for attention or anything like that. I just had to write this out. I'm not trying to get anyone to read my story or anything like that. I mentioned it because some of you might have already read it, and know the full story, or some of you might want to know the full story.

it's just been bothering me.

Like, I cant stop thinking about it.

Part of me wants to send her a message, just idk, i don't even know what i would tell her.

And the other half just wants to puke some more and cry.

Ugh.

This sucks.

Sorry for the randomness.

Comment if you want.
I don't care.