theory of the day

today was a blah. I don't know my live is like a big incoherent blur right now. irrelevant to "the big picture".What is "the big picture" anyway? We spend each day moving forward, working toward...what? To the day we die? That's a but depressing when you thing about it.That this whole life is pretty much a waist because the big grand scheme of things is just to work up to our last breath. I don't know seems pretty pointless to me. I guess a christian would probably disagree with me but, even if I look at in a Christians point of view is this. This life is only a test almost like a game. It's just to see if your worthy enough to go to heaven of if you get hell. If you pas this "test" congratulations you get to go to heaven. Fail? oh you go to hell. Play by the rules do what your told and don't cheat then your OK. what If you pick the other options? like be your own person say "Screw the game" and just go on to the faithful day when your 6ft under. Well looks like its curtains for you. I guess I'm one of those oh so lucky ones who get the hook. Looks like I'm just going to have to burn in hell. when I've actually done no wrong the crimes against me are for being a non-believer. I am my own person. It is unjust to charge a person for being a individual. It's wrong but I guess "God" doesn't care. He could almost be compared to so evil Communist dictator : Believe this, do this, say this, you can't do this If you stay on my good side I'll save you a nice seat up here in heave. Disobey me? then you get to burn in hell and be punished by my evil minion "The Devil". I know I'm going to get a lot of disagreement for Christians and other religions I guess. I would like to say I'm not trying to be disrespectful of bash you guys I'm just saying my thoughts. You can argue with me if you want go ahead its not going to change my opinions. I apologies if any of this some how offends you it wasn't meant to. This is Merrily a expiration of my own opinions.