Evil Mom , regrets, and concerts...:)

There are so many things I regret now that I never thought I would when I refused to follow through when I was younger. Last night I had a nearly 2 hour argument with my Mom because I was all depressed and desperate for her to help so I went all out and told her how I felt and that when I told her how I wanted to kill myself, it was partly true. I might not do it soon but all those shitty feelings are going to build up and erupt at the last minute. All she really did was shrug and say “I don’t know what to do.” This pissed me off majorly. I saw my share of therapists as a kid and like most; I refused to talk about how I felt and what I thought about. Now when I try to talk to people, they ignore me and push me to the side like I don’t matter anymore. I have my share of issues so I can see why people wouldn’t give a crap about me now if I’ve always put up some sort of struggle, but oh how I wish I had Lore (one of my old therapists I had as a kid. She got re-assigned to work some where else. I thought it was funny because she was the only one I’d bother to talk to so after she left; I kind of shut down sort of. xD)

I need something happy to talk about to get rid of this emo BS crap…..CASH CASH! I love that band for real…I feel pathetic because I have a “Edward Cullen fan-girl” crush on Jean Paul, the lead singer….wink wink…I honestly have no idea why I love him so much, but when I think about him with another girl I get all sad and jealous…God, I am a loser! :P I love his skinny jeans and the fact that he’s short. I’ve never had a thing for short guys but I’ve made an exception for him. These guys are so fun in concert (Haven’t seen them yet but really want to…?) and HJFSDHFKSDJFHKSJD *Does a happy dance*

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Oh! I get to see Pat Benatar, REO Speedwagon, and Weird Al in concert in a few months. Need to buy a sexy video camera and find a way to sneak it into the pavilion to record those hotties in action. The best part of it all is I get to go with my best friend Jaime who is actually pregnant with her second kid right now but..Oh well. She lives an hour or two away from me so we rarely get to hang out but I am so happy she is coming to the concerts….Party time…

Time to go finish watching CSI: Miami and then maybe some Criminal Minds <3