Okay, so I just found out Avenged Sevenfold is touring again. Despite Jimmy's death, I am really happy because it's just amazing. I am so happy that they are still going on, which is what I know Jimmy would have wanted. Anyways, I know no one really knows me, but ever since Jimmy's death my life has gone to shit in all honesty.
I honestly don't give a crap who reads this journal, and I'm just going to let my feelings be known. The day Jimmy died was seriously one of the worst days of my life. I couldn't even function that day really. I cried almost instantly when I saw it on the screen and I couldn't make people understand why I was so upset. Even my boyfriend at the time who knew I loved the band said "He's just some guy."
If I had said this to him about one of his idols, he would have flipped a lid. It literally felt to me like I had lost part of my family. I still feel that to this day, and I'll never forget the effect that band has had on my life. I have met so many amazing people because of this site and the love of this band that I will never regret. Though there is one person I do regret meeting from this site.
Literally a month later my four year relationship with my boyfriend ended because of this one person, and I was completely heartbroken. I'm still completely heartbroken over this because I did nothing to deserve that. I loved my then boyfriend more than anything, and even though a certain band buried themselves in my heart. He still had the majority of it.
I realized then, that I wasn't ever wanted even though he tried to win me back, I stayed strong and didn't go back. I do not deserve to be unwanted, because I did everything I could for him and he still did not appreciate me the way I deserve to be appreciated. Though he was not a complete bad guy, he still did a lot for me, my actions far outweighed his in that department.
Not only did this happen to me, but as I arrived home back into a place that I felt missed and wanted, then things between my parents exploded. I would normally share the details it is much the same of what I went through not even a month prior. I honestly thought there wasn't going to be a way out of the pain I felt. Then something happened, I was asleep one night and I heard laughter.
When I opened my eyes, I saw a tall figure standing next to me. I know I probably sound insane but I could have sworn Jimmy was standing there. I instantly felt comfort and heard. "It's gonna be okay, you better fucking believe it," and he vanished. Normally I don't ever fall right back asleep, but this time I did.
It stood out to me because I have battled with insomnia since December. Some times I would not sleep for up to 30 hours. It was that bad, and I know people were getting concerned about me. Mostly the wonderful people I have met here.
Missy: There is no fucking doubt in my mind that you are the biggest Jimmy fan I have ever met, and I love you so insanely much. You mean so much to me that there really isn't words to tell you how I really feel about our friendship. You most certainly are the ketchup to my hot dog, and my goof to my ball. Without you, and you're awesomeness I would not have meet some of the most amazing people on this site, You are the raddest human being on this earth. <3
Whitney: You were the one person who inspired me to get back into writing again and I'm not sure if you ever knew that but there is eternal gratitude in my heart for you. I can't honestly say I've connected this much with another person as I have you. You fucking read my mind on a daily basis and that is why you are my wifey. I happen to love your accent, and I have the best wifey ever. No one will ever replace you, ever. <3
Angel: Without you, there'd be no s'more. Really, you are the marshmellow that holds Missy and I together. You have always been there when I need someone to talk to and calm me down, and I love you're amazing silliness it never ceases to make me laugh. You deserve every happiness in the world. There is no doubt that you love Brian, and I know he'd love you just as much as I do. <3
Chrissy: I don't even know what to say. You are my Cakester, and no one else's. I love our talks because I know I can say anything and you understand what I mean. We share several common bonds even though we are very different. I love that about our friendship, because it just proves that two people can connect over anything. You're just an amazing all around person and I happen to love your dark side. <3
Jenna: Name Twin. It's all I really have to say, cause I love and care about you deeply. I don't even really remember how we met but I couldn't go one night without at least saying hello to you, you are the one who keeps me sane when I can't sleep and have no one else to say hello to. You make me laugh, a lot because you're so random and I love you for it. Do not doubt that you are an amazing person, because you sure are. <3
Becca: You're stories are... the best I've seen, so original and fun. I love them, and you are a very amazing person for your age. Not to mention your cute English accent. I love it to pieces. Your stories have touched my heart, and that is an amazing ability, so never doubt you have people around you because if you can do that you can do amazing things. <3
Holly: I don't care really, how we met or that we have not all that much in common. You are awesome and you're a really great friend, because even though I'm not quite a hockey fan and or Green Day fan such as yourself I know I can talk to you about anything and it would be interesting. <3
Colleen: When I got into the RP threads you were the nice one who showed me around and got me into it. Though I'm not as into it as I was, I still happen to think you dear are rad, because you are a very nice person and you've been good to me. That deserves praise, thank you for being awesome. <3
Meg: I know I haven't talked to you in forever, but I miss you so completely much and I love you very much because you introduced me back into the world that is Avenged Sevenfold, and you my dear are amazing. I miss you <3
Maral: You may be last on this list but you certainly are very important but you have been there for me even off Mibba and I couldn't have done what I did to change my life if I hadn't of had you there to talk me through everything I needed to get out. I love our chats because I can say anything and you have something even more funny to say back about it. God I love that about you. <3
Without these people, including the boys of Avenged Sevenfold I would be in hell right now, and I had to say thank you to each and every one of you for affecting my life. I never want to go back now because I realize what a good life I do have and how this site has really changed things for the better in my days of being on the Earth.
For all my other friends, I can pick some of you out in my head like CJ, well I just- you are awesome even though you tease me. I know you love Whitney, and that's amazing. You are a really cool guy and I love your stories. Haha. Oh and Tammy, you are one amazing Canadian. Nicky, you're a great awesome person and I see why Jenna loves you.
It's really strange to think that a thing that didn't exist when I was born, now affects my life so greatly that it's become something I really love. I would have never been able to get through this without this site, and I probably would have never written anything again if I hadn't come here so another thanks goes out to DUJO for creating Mibba.
I just had things to say, and I thought I would share them, so thanks for reading. Have a good night everyone, I'll be up for a while still. <3
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