My Catastrophic Day!

I did not wake up this morning feeling like P Diddy--I woke up this morning with a cat on my stomach.

That was the landmark start to my horrible day of status-related afflictions. It is days like today that I wish that Maddy and Rose went to my school...but alas, they don't.

I took my shower, but it turned out that I was out of shampoo...and our water heater is broken. I had to streak across our house to steal some of my mom's shampoo. And then I accidentally put on a pair of pants that are against the dress code (holes in the knees).

Little did I realize that I was wearing the jailbird jeans, until a particularly hard-assed teacher--I'll just call him Mr. JP--came through and gave me a Saturday detention.

After that rousing start to my day, I got my period in the middle of first period (with Mr. JP), and he wouldn't give me a hall pass, so I just ran for it. Got four more detentions for that. On the bright side, the rest of my year is booked.

There's this bitch I know, Lia M. I don't know what kind of beef she has with me, but it seems like leaving me alone is an impossible feat. She's got her little alternative-rocker posse, and they like to throw me in garbage cans (no kidding! Like Kurt in GLEE). So, I was getting ready to ditch fifth, and as I walked down the sidewalk, one of Lia's cronies threw me into a garbage can.

With my menstrual cramps, mixed with the smudge of disgustingness (probably somebody's lunch) all over my ass, I spent the period in the locker room, trying to wash the banana out of my jeans. It wouldn't come out, so I went to sixth period in my gym shorts--which are also out-of-dress-code.

Got another detention to carry over to next year.

And now I have a bunch of homework. Today was one of those historically shitty days.

Gonna go make an egg.