It's unfortunate

Last night while I was laying in my bed wishing for something to make my fear of sleep pass, I was thinking about everything that has happened, and how it all changed me so much. It changed everything, but it all seems to revolve around how much I've changed that made the other things change. I was thinking about how horribly everything has turned out. And I didn't know that I was crying until my nose started running, and I began to sniff and look for my box of tissues.

This happens to me a lot, when I just lay there and think. I wish for things to have been different. And I think about how everything would be so amazingly better if nothing had ever happened, so I think that maybe I did something. It was all my fault, and that maybe if I had avoided being in that room, at that time then everything would have been okay.

I'm told that these are the wrong thoughts.
Because this isn't my fault, is it? It's yours.