I don't know how else to say it.

I've hurt myself more than I've hurt anyone, but I know that I will never feel it the way that they will. I don't care about myself, in anyway. I don't think that I, as a person, deserve any of the good things that I have, friends, or otherwise.

But today, just now, I think I've finally realized how much hurting myself could hurt so many others. And even though I think about suicide often, my thoughts don't always wonder about how others would take it. And of course, I've thought that I'm just another face, in a place filled with people and that I'm easily forgotten, but I'm starting to doubt that.

She has completely changed that thought process for me, and I want to do this for at least her, if I can't do it for myself. I never thought that the words I wrote would actually reach towards someone, or that the hell that my life has been, would make me seem strong and give someone else strength when they needed it.

I'm nearly in tears right now, because I know how hard it is for me to struggle, for me to say "No, I can't hurt myself again." I know how hard it is for me to convince myself that another day won't hurt me anymore than yesterday has. I woke up everyday thinking that I had no purpose. And even though I'm not certain of anything in the future, I know that I don't want to hurt someone else, and if that means that I have to stay alive, then I will.

Thank you, for showing this to me. You may look up to me, but without your words I might never have been able to think this way.