(Dis)enchanted

I think I've actually come to terms that I'm getting the hell out of Porkopolis, USA. Calling it that makes me want to get out even more. Blech, just the name makes me shudder. I have everything ready. Told my boss I'm leaving, have my bags packed, have my car ready to make a trip across the country. I am just so ready to leave.

I won't miss anyone. Before I was kinda bummed I was leaving everything that was familiar to me, but now I'm just more angry and pissed off than anything else. Pissed off that I couldn't convince myself to see through everyone's charades of 'friendship'. Angry that I let myself be held back because I thought I was holding onto something I never really had. Just so angry about everything.

And I've also come to terms with the fact that I don't know what I want out of life. It isn't a bad thing. No one's sure of everything one-hundred percent of the time. If that were the case things would be a hell of a lot easier. I just know the one thing I love is helping people whether they're friends or strangers. It's the only thing I seem to be good at. Yeah, I'll keep going to school just for the sake of having a degree in something I love studying, but after that I have no clue what I'm going to do and I'm okay with that.

Just knowing that I'm doing things on my own will be good enough for me and then I'll go on from there. I always wanted to join Peace Corps and still am determined to do that after I graduate. Helping is what I do. And if I died, it would be doing something I love. I can't wait to get the hell outta here.

I have so many plans, so many aspirations and I'm gonna try my damn hardest to accomplish as many goals as I can. F*ck everyone who said I never could. They can rot in this city.