Battling with a heavy heart. (update 2)

Okay, I'm back. Right now, I'm downloading songs to my Ipod. It's getting me frustrated, haha. Well, I've gained 2 lbs. TWO FREAKING POUNDS! :/ I'm sooo fucking pissed. I now weigh; 111.6 pounds. & I'm deeply ashamed of myself, so bad that I want to cry my soul out.

I've skipped a couple of days of taking the diet pills, I guess that's what screwed me over.

I wish I could go back to the way I used to be, I wish I never told my mom. Right now, I'd take 95 pounds, over 111 lbs.

I'm so disgusted with myself.
& I fucking hate writing this, thinking that I am the one that has issues.

WHATTHEHELLL.

Mann, this blows.

I don't even know what to write about anymore. :/

I've been a vegetarian, for a month now.
I feel good about saving animals!
I suggest everyone should atleast try it. (:

Well, to answer your question on my last post, me and my sister have gotten A LOT closer, I moved in with my dad last year, it was horrible. Then I moved back to my mom's this year, and ever since I moved back; we've been closer. It's really awesome too.

&& this is going to sound terrible, but now that my sister's gained a lot of weight, she has nothing to say about my weight.

When everyone first found out, she would make jokes about me, which made it worse. She'd say things like "she doesn't have to eat, she'll just throw it back up."

It hurt, a lot, to hear her say those things. It only made me feel more worse about myself, something that I didn't know was possible.

I thank everyone who's helped me, get pass my "eating disorder".
Well, I thank them for trying to hekp me out.

I don't care anymore.
I want to be skinny.
I NEED to be skinny.

I should just starve myself, it's easier to hide.

Whatever, I'll post again next week.