My Glass Heart Shattered. I Thank You For That.

You held half of my glass heart in your hands, then you slowly let it drop, leaving it to shatter on the floor. I tried to pick up the millions of broken pieces, each part from a different person. You, though, you had the biggest part. You know what that means? You broke me the absolute most. There was nothing else I could do except watch.

I watched you kiss her.
I watched you make love to her.
I watched you hold her hand.
I watched you make her feel special.
I watched you make her smile.
I watched you make her happy.

All I could think about was, “hey, that’s not me.” It pained me on the inside, so much, that you let her put you down. You let her control your life and every aspect that came with it, including me. Even though she tried, there was no way possible she could take me away from you, and vice versa, she told me that.

I was there the time she broke up with you.
I was there the time she said she didn’t love you.
I was there the time you took her back.
I was there the time she broke up with you, again.
I was there the time you told me you would never go out with her again.
I was there the time you two broke up for the 15th time.
I was there the time she said there was nothing there anymore.

I sang you, “Don’t worry, be happy. Every little thing, is gonna be alright.” I knew that would cheer you up, and it did. But it hurt me more in the end. I was helping you to get the girl you loved, the girl you would do anything for. I was there trying to make you happy. I would do anything to make you happy.

You changed though. You turned around and said, “I love you,” and I was a fool to believe it. We even made out a little bit. It wasn’t a crime, because you had broken up, but when you got back together, golly, it destroyed me. There was even the time you cheated on her with me, and you didn’t even tell me you two were still together. And when you brought her over my house a week later, I knew you were a bullshiter.

Now you are broken up again. The only boy that I have ever loved is single. Now, though, I’m the one that has a boyfriend. I’m the one that can make someone happy, and I’m the one that’s trying to fall in love.

Trying.

You see, I can’t get you off my mind. I can’t stop thinking about all the great times we have shared together, and the friendship that we have built up. The friendship that grew into love. Yes, I love you. I will say it a thousand times, and I’ve even said it to your face, to which you replied that you loved me too.

That makes me feel like I was cheating. So I broke up with him. I became single so I could have a shot at you. But you are my brother’s best friend; I would never have a chance with you. Someone or something would always get in the way. But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you, that I am in love with you.

God, I’m confused.

Do I end it with my boyfriend? Just so I can never have a chance with you? Or do I move on with life and leave you both behind? Do I try to make you love me, or leave you be completely? Do I got back with my boyfriend? I just don’t know.

/rant.