If I Ruled the World...

You know, I’ve always wondered what the world would be like if I ruled it. I mean, who hasn’t thought of that? I mean, you have power, fame, fortune, women, and everyone respects you. I mean sure, it’s out of fear, but hey, details. So this is what I’d imagine the world would be like if I had dominion over it. First, I would have a fortress so large and so epic in scope, it would knock the earth right off of its axis.It would be a dark, Gothic-style fortress in design, I want something that screams, “I’m an evil bastard.” I would also like a death ray if possible, so I may smite those who oppose me, preferably one with a BLUE laser beam. I would also want my very own harem. I mean, I don’t think any woman would be so keen to date an evil overlord. I mean, I can make them, but it’d be rape, and c’mon, I want to the lord of the universe, not a monster. So, why not have a room full of well-endowed nymphos who are more than willing to get on their knees for me? Oh, and I would also have a mad scientist, maybe one with a German accent.
I would also have an army of super soldiers equipped with the most advanced weaponry available, provided by my mad scientist of course. I also want my own navy and a squad of ninjas and/or assassins. I would also request a holiday where all the people of the world must bow down to me all at once for at LEAST ten minutes. I would be fabulously wealthy, and for an outfit, I want something black, edgy, and with lots of skulls on it, and throw a cape in there if able. I want my own court jester and my own giant octopus so I can feed it the blood of infidels. Now, as for laws…

1. Thou shalt not talk during a movie
Seriously, there’s a special place in hell for these jackasses. Punishment involves the electric chair.

2. Thou shalt not take out thine cellular phones and blast forth really loud music
Especially since most of the music they play, is, for lack of a better term, shit. No one, and I mean NO ONE wants to listen to your music. This law also applies to people who play REALLY loud music from their cars and/or trucks when they drive down the road. I think ripping out their eardrums is good punishment, don’t you think?

3. Thou shall finish thine drinks and always placeth them on coasters.
I really dislike the people at parties, who, NEVER finish their drinks. Instead, they’ll just place their unfinished drink on a table, or chair, or whatever, without a COASTER, and they’ll just let the ice melt, so the drink will make a mess on the surface. AND they’ll grab another drink, meaning, they wasted a drink. It’s the Guillotine for these punks.

4. Thou shalt not honk the horn of thine car, if thoust haveth no reason to.
You know those people who honk the horn of their car for NO good reason whatsoever? Yeah, I think water boarding is in order here. This also applies to people who don’t use their friggin’ blinkers.

Of course, these are but a FEW of the laws I would have. If I sat here, and wrote very law, we’d be here all day, and I’m running out punishments here. So, there, that’s what the world would be like if I ever had the chance to rule the world. Of course, the odds of me ever accomplishing such a feat is slim to none, but hey, I’ve always heard unattainable dreams are the best kind, right?