Kisses of Betrayal

I really don't know what to think anymore. I mean i was having an awesome weekend. I was with my better family with my best friend and we were chillen and having an amazing time. That was on Friday.

Also on Friday i had my first kiss now call me a hopelessly dumb romantic but that held sentimental value no matter how drunk i was i remembered and i truly didn't have enough time to think about feelings toward this boy.

Saturday comes along. I'm helping clean for my 2nd daddy's Birthday party and you know I'm feeling great like yeah another awesome day for an awesome weekend. So everyones getting there and people are talking and whatever having fun, it is a party.

I just didn't feel right i felt out of place but you know i pushed it aside and tried to have fun still. The boy was there, and i expected him to be but what i didn't expect was for my friend (different girl from my best friend) to be sitting on his lap.

You know i can brush that off it's whatever you know. I figured since my friend knew about what happened the night before so i trusted her not to do anything so i didn't think much of it.

Then they get up and they leave and the only place to really go around my friends house is the park, where i was the night before with this boy. So that's when i started to get mad and i started thinking of the worst. I tried to keep it to myself but i just got so down and out that i ended up telling my best friend how i was so scared that our friend had done something. She took off to go find her.

They all got home not to long after and i was so anxious. I didn't want to be mad and i didn't want to feel the way i felt but i didn't have any control. So when my best friend told me that my friend did kiss him i was ready to leave her house that second i couldn't be in the same room as that girl without going off. But my best friend said that i had already planned to stay so she would ask her to leave nicely.

Point is my friend kissed the guy i kissed the day after it happened you know i could see if it was a couple days later or even if she asked me if i liked him first but she kissed him period and the fact that i was drunk when i kissed him and she was TOTALLY and COMPLETELY sober just makes it worse. I feel betrayed but then again she was my friend. Yet right now when i think about it i just want to go up to her and slap her. I'm not mad at the boy because i don't know him relationship wise so he could be fucking everyone and there grandmother but the fact that my friend did that knowing what happened the night before just ticks me off.

I really don't know what to do and I'm scared actually.