It starting to hurt again. Please give me some advice to cope.

My great uncle died a few weeks ago. Its been hard on my whole family, especially me and my mom because we couldnt go to the funeral. We've been able to hold off crying for a little while. But now his birthday is coming up and the pain is slowly creeping back. Knowing that i cant wish him a happy birthday or even go to his grave and just have a moment to myself is killing me. I want to cry. His would be 77th birthday is this Saturday. Im not sure how its going to be when that day comes. But if its anything like im feeling now. I might not get out of bed until past 12 in the afternoon. I was wondering if anyone out there could help me with some coping methods since im not one to really express my feelings to family or one thats willing to cry infront of people. Can you??