You know those times in your life when you feel like you haven't really accomplished anything? You sit there on lazy days, maybe go out once in a while, your butt glued to the chair and all you ever do is use the internet. I feel so unproductive everyday and the fact that I'm not doing anything at all about it depresses me.
To tell you the truth, all I ever wanted to do this summer was read. Haha, yeah. You see, in my country most of the books I want aren't available. And I've always considered myself a reader, but then I am slowly realizing that I actually haven't read that much. Comparing myself to everyone on here, I'm starting to feel the urge to buy more and more books and just sit down and and get lost in words. Apparently, there are books people on mibba consider amazing, and I haven't read any of them yet.
But I'm broke, and my family is undergoing financial problems. We've been going through this kind of thing since i came into the world. My father, I don't know anymore. I never tell my friends about my problems, because I don't want them to feel sorry for me. It's an automatic thing. You tell your friends you're poor and your family has issues and every time you enter the room, that's what they'll think. And I don't want that. So I'm better off talking to you, guys. Strangers.
It's just that. i feel bad. Most of the people i know have money. They can buy all the books they want. I can't buy anything I want. They can go to places, I stay at home. Just a visit to an amusement park for me is mind blowing, because we can never really afford to go out now. I just hope everything gets better for me, for my family.
I know. Money isn't everything. Money can't buy happiness. But money can buy books, more movies, more CDs, more gifts for people. And isn't that happiness, anyway?
Anyway, thanks for reading. Just needed some things to be let out.
today, i feel down
May 26th, 2010 at 09:08am