i dont even know anymore. why is shit the way it is? one second you are completely fine and then the next completely not. shit gets confused new shit and old shit just get thrown together .... you never know when things are gonna be ok cuz everything seems to just get mixed up.
i always manage to screw shit up even when i do not mean to do it. i guess i am not as strong as i thought i was. i can handle a lot. i have been through a lot but i still cannot seem to make it through some things. old memories get dredged up at the wrong times and seem to mess with everything else.
my heads all messed up. does that make me messed up? maybe i am. who knows? i sure as hell don't and i'm not sure if i care to. maybe i'm just not the person everything goes right for. i am eternally bound to failure and insecurity. thats the hand i have apparently been dealt by the powers that be and i guess i am a glutton for punishment. i never know whentto fold. i honestly do not know anymore and i am not entirely sure that i care.
i just dont know.
Not registered?
Create an account