I'd Cross Mountains, Moments For You.

I'm keeping myself up just wondering, keep wondering, why, why, why. Repetition WITHOUT PERMISSION GET OUT OF MY MIND, you don’t belong here. Absence was obvious. It hurt but I was moving, on and on, my brain. I’m just telling you. My heart's in your hand. Applaud me. My courage is astounding me. Four years? Four years, and I can see it again. Crystal ball encased by fingers that long to tear you, smother you and mother you at the same time. I wish to have you inside of me again. Stars fall for you. I’m open for you. And. I anger myself. You come here. Confess your undying love, the love you said you had, and I'd take you. I’d kiss you again. Funny isn’t it. Not haha funny. But funny, in the least funny way possible. Sometimes it just hurts so much that I wonder if anything could replace this? Place in my heart here, forever here. You have. Stolen my heart. I cant hear it, feel it. I don’t want anything else. Please don’t. Note to self . I miss you terribly. This is what we call a tragedy. I start to feel better but a word, a phrase, a smell. Just launches my heart back into your hand. I'm hurting so much. You don’t even know. You couldn’t even muster the strength to imagine. I’m a rose. Withering. You’re blocking the sun. Eyes like the sun. I left her. I left perfection for you. And. I cant even sleep. Kiss me? Hit you. Kick you. Slap, burn, punish. Punish me. I've been a bad bad girl, a very bad girl. I’m doubting my existence. Shock myself. Stunned at my lack of… anything. I'm so desperate to punish myself. I'd cross mountains, moments for you. Become the split in an atom for you. Set my spine ablaze. Walk forever. And howl at the moon. Know you’re looking at it too. My thumb. Look. You do it too. Think how many people are looking. All at the same time. The world is so big. But you're it. You're a full stop. Our love is a verb. A metaphor in any sense of my words. Muttered, mustered for you. My heart is. My heart is yours. Metaphorically of course. These words. Just letters added. I’m bad at maths. I've been thinking about it. Wondering if my life’s worth it without you. Funny. I could have you. But I push you away. OUR LOVE IS VERB. Give me something. I cant remember life without love for you. I’m in a room. No windows, doors. Its black. I think. Or dark. It could be white. I can’t be sure. I’m so unsure. Sweating. Crazy. I listen to your heart. My ear on your breast, the left. Blood rushes. Echo without a stem. I wish I could climb inside you. Explore the corridors. See what room I’m in. My smile should be enough. 'Your eyes only focus in my direction'. Nice. I like your lines. Lies. Poet. I’m pretty. I AM pretty, and I shouldn’t feel like I’m not. I’m perfect. We are. First impressions really do count, don’t they sweety. You know me inside, out. Upside down. Read me like a book. But I want you not here. I want you nowhere near. I want you in my heart. My arms. Hands. On my fingers. Iambic pentameter. Help. Don’t stop. Don’t even pause. You're keeping me alive. I'd stand here forever for you. Walk to you. Middle of the night. The last train. My fingers strain to reach the sides. I'd leave today with you. Take nothing BUT you.