Down the Drain

Twenty one days of sobriety (no cutting) just went down the drain...I couldn't deal with the stress anymore and I broke down...I feel like I've betrayed everyone...I just wish I could turn back the clock and take it all back, I feel so stupid, and just earlier I was thinking oh my god I'd made it 21 days one more and it's 22, but now I'm at the beginning all over again...And when I go to school tomorrow I know I'll have to face my teacher, and tell her what happened, and I know she'll just give me her words of wisdom and that everyone makes mistakes...
Maybe it also has to do with the fact that my friend committed suicide this weekend...His parents found him hanging from the rafters in the garage...I also feel like that's my fault because maybe I could have done something...I talked to him on myspace right before he did it too... I wish I could have stopped him. I feel like such a failure....