MY STORY

Well, I grew up in a Christian family. Use to go to a nondenominational church- wow big word haha. Anyways, my brothers (I have three) were really involved in church. I on the other hand thought that church was just a time to hang out with people. I was young. It wasn’t till my mom and dad got divorced that I realized that going to church and obeying the Ten Commandments as often as possible didn’t make you a Christian and, even more so, didn’t give you salvation.
To say the least, when my parents got divorced, I felt alone- I was ten when this happened. It seemed like the walls I build around my struggles and sin came crashing down. I knew that there was something missing. My friends didn’t help me at all. They weren’t Christians and said horrible things about those who were. When I was around then, I pretended that I was like them. I rejected my Savior so they wouldn’t reject me.
My dad had cheated on my mom, which is why they got divorced. My mom, after the divorce, got on a Christian dating site. She met my step-dad, Jeff, married him, we moved a hour and a half away, had to make new friends and find a new church. It was terribly hard. Everything I once knew as “Home” was now fading in the rear-view mirror of the car that was heading to an uncertain and scary place I would have to call “home”.
However, during that time of loneliness and insecurity I discovered that my Father was waiting for me, holding out His hand and calling my name. I had always looked at His hand of mercy and love-so willing to help me along the valley of “the shadow of death” but I would never take it. I rejected Him along with his love.
He tells us, “They (nonbelievers) will reject you for they first rejected Me” and He sure was right! I fell. I looked beyond Him and tried to find something else that could take on the role He so highly wanted to have. However, nothing satisfied. I felt even more hurt and pain. The pressure He placed on my heart was hard to ignore. I knew His longing to love and cherish me was a deep longing and desire.
So I surrendered. I said, “LORD, I am Yours. I give you my life and all that is in me”. That was the best day of my life. Thinking back, I know that if I wouldn’t have done that then I wouldn’t be where I am today. I would be lost. I would be living how the world around me is living, if I would have even made it this far that is.
I had sought satisfaction is many things. One being cutting myself. I thought that the outward pain would take away my inner pain, at least for a little while. I longed to see the blood of the person that I wasn’t pleased with, the person who I hated, this person was me. I would punish myself because I knew that I wasn’t meeting up to the person that God created me to be.
So that’s when I gave in. I realized that cutting myself only left scars and mistake-filled-memories. I became a new person when I accepted Christ. Then two years after my parents got divorced I knew that the LORD was calling me into missions and surrendered even my future to Christ. I took up my cross to follow the One who gave His life as a ransom upon it.
Now I am a God-fearing Saint of Christ and am as happy as ever. But there is still pain in my journey and there is much heart-ach as well, but I know that while I am walking this long and sometimes lonely road I’ve got God’s hand to lead me. And, to me, I couldn’t ask for more.

So what's your story? Care to share?