Routine is Death

Last time I felt dead, I was in a routine. It was at work. Target. I felt really sick, kind of like last spring when I had mono and pneumonia and my doctor tried to tell me for two weeks that I had herpes, where I couldn't see except for tunnel vision and I heard like I had cotton stuffed in my ears. I could only hear myself talking, low and hollow, because my voice rattled around in my head before coming out. And all I could think was

"I feel like I'm going to DIE."

It was then I realized how much of a routine I was in: that I was able to finish two transactions (one of them with a deaf couple) and still close down my register, tell my manager I was leaving, walk the entire way to the breakroom, sign out, and then finally call my parents to come pick me up because I clearly wasn't in any state to drive.

I don't know if routine is a good thing or a bad thing. I can't decide. My head hurts.