In Latin, "Dark Heart, Dark Angels".
I think this is where I've been heading for some time. After sobering up from sleep deprivation, I've collected my thoughts enough to make an effort to voice my sentiments on something that people will be eager to voice eternally-- humanity. I know that adults can judge other adults, books judge adults, but what I think there is not enough of is US judging adults, and each other in general. I know that sounds terrible, to want to judge, but I mean to judge something meaningful. What we judge now is a part of the problem--wasting our time on judging sexuality, or aesthetics, abilities or lack thereof. We are such shallow, shallow beings. We're starving creatures, eager to glut ourselves off other peoples losses, whether or not they are lost by themselves, or we take them by force. We've erected our own angels to pray to, our own version of god that conveniently pardons the things that we do.
"We eradicated that civilization for god."
"We began this war for god"
"We burned those books for god"
"We killed those people for god"
God? Is that our newest excuse? Evil is an excuse to do good. Good is an excuse to not do evil. We've found an excuse for everything we do. Rape is because of biological functions in the body. Murder is a lack of functions in the brain. Sickness is an excuse for desperate acts. Why can't we own up for everything we've done? We're walking on miles and miles of bones each day we go out and we don't even know it. Then, we're amazed when Gaia lashes out at us with hurricanes and fires and such. We're eager to believe in a benevolent god, but we're so against believing in punishment.for out actions. We write books to create theories for everything except our own shortcomings. Oh, glory be to our achievements and kick the other things beneath the mental. Out of sight, out of your god forsaken mind! We are so PATHETIC! We've just fallen so, so far.People lie out in the streets dying, continents shrivel away, and all we can think about is that girl we're going to get lucky with, that meal waiting at home that we'll probably waste, that television we've become so dependent on. We're a race of hollow shells, and those that decide the shed that husk are instantly labeled. We can't even allow our fellow people to rise up against the injustices, for to do so would bring light to our shadier past. My eyes...they sting just writing this, because I feel as if my soul was misplaced here. I know some of us aren't like the rest of them. Some of you who read this will understand me, and others will laugh. Some of you will pass this without a comment to move onto something more modern, more popular. If you do read this, though, to the very bottom, I hope you feel it too. That odd tug on your heart, and that tickle in your eye, that shock in your mind. It's all there, whether or not you want to acknowledge it. No amount of angels or gods will protect us from that. We can't continue to make excuses for ourselves. Heaven is an excuse to do good, hell is an excuse to push away the bad. Religion is an excuse to have order, atheism is an excuse to allow chaos. If you disagree with this, it's an excuse to ignore the truth. If you agree, it's an excuse to feel like you understand...as I write this, it's an excuse to make someone see what I do, though I know you never truly will...there's so much more to say, but not all at once.
There is no questions here, friends. No question I could pose could be answered; it's just a paradox. Say what you want, or say nothing, but either way, I'll understand your thoughts, if only a small part.
-Aluraune
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