I wasn't ready

I am strong but I am weak.I can love and i can hate.I am brave but I have fears. I am all these things but still I feel like I know nothing about myself. It's not like my life has been easy and this is the first major even that had turned my world upside down. I was getting used to feeling CONTENT. I wasnt happy but i was content and i felt safe. I knew who my friends were and I knew where my home was. But then this shocking discovery changed everything. I've changed so much through the years that I've my lost myself. I was starting to salvage together the pieces that people had left of me. I was almost complete when I broke into our safe we keep in the basement. i wanted to know my birth mother's name and why she gave me up for adoption. I'd been preparing myself for the reasons she gave me away my whole life. I figured it was drugs or economic problems. I was ready to read that in the papers. I wasn't ready to read her court statement. I wasn't ready to hear I have 6 brothers and sisters I've never met and probably never will meet. But how woul you prepare yourself for that?