WTF, a phrase that applies to my life more then it should.

I'd like to start to this journal with some not to negative news. Just to prove I'm not a whiny bitch like all my other journals would suggest.

I've been listening to Billy Talent for all two weeks straight and have now decided they are my new favorite band. Nothing to Lose, River Below, and Standing in the Rain are my fave songs.

My 14 year old friend who is sadly a whore is now pregnant. Not really surprising knowing her. I tried to convince her to get rid of it because at first she wanted to keep it. Then she changed her mind. Her newest choice is to have the child then let a relative rise it until she is able to take care of it. I don't think this is the right choice but I've told her I'll be with her every step of the way. Well, except when she gives birth, no thank you.

My boyfriend *sigh*. He is easily one of the sweetest guys I know. But I am shallow. Something I never noticed until now. He's not a looker, which is why I broke up with him in the first place. I couldn't stand the looks my friends gave me whenever we were together. But I got back with him, thinking that maybe I would get past that. Trying to force myself to grow up. I really like him when we talk on the computer(I have a fear of talking on the phone.) He makes me feel special and like I'm important. But I couldn't image giving him my first kiss.

And the other day I pretty much cheated on him and almost lost my virginity, Thank you low self esteem and body issues. It happened the other day. It was at my friend's house who is a girl and who knows I have feelings for her. Her parents weren't at home and we where in her room. Lets just say a lot of stuff happened which lead to me being on her floor with her on top of me. We never kissed or anything but still... She wanted to, she took my bra off through my shirt. And kept trying to put her hands down my pants. I didn't let her but it was very tempting. I'm not a whore nor will I ever be.

I'm supposed to be moving July 1st. Thanks to my oldest sister and her husband. She promised my mother that we would all live together for at least 2 years. Needless to say she lied. My mother has no money, she spent it all on my sister's wedding. I'm scared, I don't want to be homeless again. But I don't know who too believe anymore my sister or my mother. My mother has fucked up my life so much, she has been the cause of a lot of my pain, and I just can't think of why my own sister would do that to her own family. My mother says she's always been selfish and never liked me or my other sister. That's really hard to take in at once.

QUESTIONS!!
1. What your favorite band?
2. What is your weirdest fear?
3. Would you ever break up with someone because they weren't good looking?
4. Would you have had sex with her/ him?
5. After reading this do you think I'm an awful person? Because that's how I feel right now.