My Mirror twin sister and I have had a great debate all out lives as to whether the left handed or right handed person is better. We were born completely identical physically, but opposite mentally. Being a mirror twin is rare and only happens in 2% of identical twins. It just means we are completely opposite while remaining identical. For example, I am right handed and she is left handed. Medically, our organs are slightly shifted so that if you were to slice us down the front and open us up you would see that our insides are mirrored. The same goes with our faces. The left side of my face is identical to the right side of my sister's face. This is called the mirror effect. If we were to stand in front of each other, the opposite sides of our faces would seem like we are looking in a mirror.
It gets pretty complicated and I could go on about being a mirror twin for hours, but I really do have a point to this journal. Before I get to that point it is imperative that you understand a few facts about my twin and I. The first fact being that we NEVER fight. Unlike most twins that my sister and I have unfortunately come across, the other twins all seem to want to kill each other. either that or they are so against each other that they detest the other's presence. In my opinion, they never truly got to enjoy the fun that it is to be a twin. Instead of teaming up to cause trouble they would fight against each other.
The second thing you need to know about my sister and I is that we sometimes have 'pretend' fights to compensate for the fighting we don't do with each other. It has been a sort of inside joke between us because we never fought. So we'd make fun of other twins by pretending to fight which in turn, actually turn into some pretty interesting battles.
The third and final thing you need to know about us (at least for this journal anyway) is that we MUST have everything be completely equal and fair or else something is sort of out of balance. For example, if Mum gave one of us something it was expected that she would also give the other something (That is unless punishment was being dealt. But then aain we were usually in trouble together so we usually received the same amount of punishment anyway).
Because of our need for fairness there has been one great debate between us and that is the debate on whether the left side or the right side is better. Me, being right handed, obviously thinks that being riht handed is better. My twin is, of course, just the opposite. we usually just leave the left handed right handed joking to mere jeers about why the other hand is better or worse adn then we carry on with our normal lives.
This week, however, sparked quite a feud. I am at my vacation house in Massachusetts with my left handed mother, aunt, and sister. I am the only right handed person in the house and quite unused to being the minority. Never before have I realized how left handed people do things that I am not used to and I have started making notes or little quips around the house at how strange left handed people are. For example: When they put a twist-tie back around a loaf of bread they twist it the wrong direction. I noticed this only after twisting the twist-tie the direction I'm used to twisting it to get some bread only to realize a few twists later that I have only succeeded in tightening the twist-tie. This isn't the only observation I have made, but it is one of many things that have begun to open my eyes to the world of the impossible leftys.
The war this evening started when, fed up with being tricked by all the left-handed problems in the house, I escaped to facebook to write a note and get some sympathy from my right handed people waaaaaaay back home. unfortunately my twin got to facebook first and this little pretend war started. I believe it will be able to speak for itself. I am quite positive this little war lasted about two hours. Afterwords, I will let you decide which is better? left or right?
ME= RIGHTY
My Twin= LEFTY
RIGHTY: You know what the problem with being the only right handed person in a house full of lefties is? All the twist-ties on bread and things are twisted the wrong way.
LEFTY:actually i think the only problem is the only right handed person
RIGHTY:Well, at least I can use the scissors. Just let me know the next time you want something cut.
LEFTY:i'm pretty good with some sixorz
RIGHTY:Oh, so you go for that crooked whoops-I-had-to-cut-the-same-line-a-few-times-to-actually-make-the-blades-cut look
LEFTY:i didn't know they were right handes scissorz.
RIGHTY:you know left handed people use their entire brain to process thoughts. Righties only need half of their brain to do that XD
LEFTY:that, or you're just not as advanced as we are. you haven't learned to use that 2nd half yo. i mean, which one of us will survive brain damage?
RIGHTY:are you saying lefties are prone to brain damage?
LEFTY:no, but hypothetically...
RIGHTY:so.... surviving brain damage might HYPOTHETICALLY make you only able to use half of your brain.... thus making you like a right handed person. Maybe then you would twist the twist-ties the right way.... that is assuming you can twist them after brain damage
LEFTY:no no you've missed the point. i would stay left handed, the right handed part wouldn't work. that's why you righties fail ...we have 2 chances, you have 1. you know how you always used to put my socks on for me when i broke a bone? well, if you had brain damage, i'd take care of the drool for you
RIGHTY:you know, I've never broken any bones and you've broken...4? Also, I believe all things broken have been on your LEFT side, thus proving the left side is weaker?
LEFTY:or that i just fall to the left
RIGHTY:either that or a right handed person was behind all your unfortunate accidents. Me pushing you in the crib, my idea for using the bike without the handles, etc. etc...
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
I think it is important for you guys t understand how my darling sister broke her bones because unless you understand you won't get the next few jeers we throw at each other.
When we were four we wanted to make a fort usin pillows and mattresses from our cribs. Being right handed....er.... the stronger of the two I hoisted my sister up and into her crib to retrieve the mattress. She somehow landed on her collarbone and it broke.
The next instance was when we were ten years old. I had the spectacular idea to tie some shoelace strings to the handlebars of my bike to try and pretend to ride it like a horse. I, being the smart one (*wink* *Wink*) decided to not ride the bike so dangerously. My sister, on the other hand, tried to ride the bike and swerved to miss hitting a car. Should I mention the car was parked? She broke two bones after the handle bar went into her arm.
She broke her left collarbone (AGAIN) when she slipped in the shower while trying to get ready for a date. Yes, her boyfriend at the time was right handed.)
COMMERCIAL END
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RIGHTY:either that or righties come up with ideas lefties just can't do
LEFTY:yeah, you pile drived me into the crib. (would that be pile drove?) erin, you might as well give up, 2 is better than one, and i'm using 2 lobes.
LEFTY:I was saving kids from a burning bus falling off a cliff with a broken wing your fault for my 4th bone? no i don't think so. (She uses this excuse instead of telling people how she swerved to keep from hitting that 'dangerous' parked car).
RIGHTY:I didn't invent falling, but I'm pretty sure it's near impossible to break a collar bone when falling onto a SOFT mattress only three feet down... but you as a leftie proved it was possible.
Am i allowed to applaud or is using my left hand inappropriate in this situation?
LEFTY:O...M...G. no, you need both hands to clap. but i only need one to punch you in the face
and it's *lefty (she was correcting me on my spelling of 'lefty')
RIGHTY:you know, using definitions to back me up, lefty only applies to a left hand person, whereas a righty is someone who is right handed AND is also correct at the same time.
Also, might I point out that using the word 'right' as opposed to 'left' makes more sence.
For Example, you wouldn't say, "Are you doing all left today?" Someone might get insulted........ See More
'all right' sounds better.
Can you think of a sentence where left dominates right?
RIGHTY (continued after much silence has passed):this war between us was going to happen eventually. If we were one person we'd be all 'right'
we'd of course be right handed, but we'd use your skills to use our right brain instead of our left. (This was my sad attempt at making a truce)
LEFTY:2 lefts don't make a right, but 2 wrongs do.
RIGHTY:scratch that, we'd be mental singing,"There's nothing right in my left brain, and nothing left in my right." (Here I abandoned all hope for a truce the war was yet to continue)
LEFTY:i was wondering if your one lobe could detect it... i guess not.
RIGHTY:I didn't detect it because it didn't make sense. something must have gotten lost in translation while using your entire brain to come up with that because two wrongs never make a right.
LEFTY:but 3 lefts do
RIGHTY:Point proven:
your coming up with that joke (wrong #1) and your trying to point out the correctness of the joke (wrong #2) still didn't make any correct or 'right' answers.
LEFTY:you're right. (pause) buuuuuuuurn. (at this point I was wondering if she was insulting me or herself?)
LEFTY (still on a roll continues to jeer):oh, and back up to that "if we were one personthing" we'd be left handed, because BOTH brain lobes would be in use... so. you fail
RIGHTY:if you had to take three lefts to make a right it probably meant that:
1. a lefty was driving
or
2. a lefty made a wrong turn and had to go around their elbow to get in the right direction again
LEFTY:true, but who want's to go right when you can go left?
ever hear that "everyone is born left until they fail for the first time?" yeah...
RIGHTY:backing up to the both of us being one person gig, we'd be right handed because we would use just the one lobe like normal righties for thinking and use the other lobe for storing information and coming up with wittier comebacks.
LEFTY:(water=righty sugar=lefty) no, it doesn't work like that. you can't just put SUGAR in water and expect the water to just stay the same old boring tasteless stuff. it's the sugar that makes all the difference. once they're together, you'd have to get rid of the water to separate the sugar from it. so essentially, sugar makes the water better, so...lefties are better than righties
RIGHTY:ok we can compromise and be ambidextrous, but we'd still be all 'right' when it counted (Once again trying to attempt a truce)
LEFTY:is that the best you can do?
RIGHTY:(salt= righty sugar= lefty water=body) salt can easily over power the taste of sugar in the water AND it is also known to get rid/protect from impurities AND preserve
LEFTY:would you rather have cake or dead pig?
LEFTY (unnecessarily explaining herself):cake has sugar, dead pig...cured in salt.
RIGHTY:at least a dead pig, when cooked properly can be more nutritious than cake, when cake is unhealthy no matter how it is cooked.
LEFTY:you usually see cakie when people are happy though. you know, weddings, birthdays, any day of the week. you might see a dead pig at a funeral though. that's more likely
RIGHTY:at a funeral? Are you sure that's not where you see your comebacks because they are kind of digging their own graves....
LEFTY:that didn't make any sense. and yes, you might even be going to a funeral for the dp.
LEFTY: It is dead after all
LEFTY: cake was never dead
RIGHTY: The cake is a lie!
MUCH time passes. I think the war has ended. We went back to our normal nightly routine (me trying to update my next chapter, she wanted to go play her new Oblivion game). But before going to bed I saw that she somehow ninja'd another comment under my nose.
LEFTY:you know, i didn't want to bring this up, but i think i just lost "the game"
SO I ask you, who wins? lefties or righties? is it a war that will never end? I will let you decide.
I also want to let you know that when my sister says she lost 'the game' she isn't talking about this war.... oh no.... she is talking about something more sinister that even righties can't win. No one can win this game and once you know about it you lose. Everyone plays 'the game' even if they don't know they are playing they are. If you want to know more about 'the game' search for it on google. But be warned.... you will lose.
I love all of you. Have a wonderful summer. I hope this war was a good enough excuse for as to why I wasn't able to update my chapter in a timely manner tonight. XOXO
~WANDERING BALLOON
aka:Righty
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