I have been a complete bitch to Matt lately and now is the time for me to stop. When he is gone, I am gonna try and change for the better. I bitch and moan of me wanting maybe one day of alone time a week and he just keeps saying not to complain and it's driving him nuts. One of the reasons though is because I want to get into video games again. It's because I feel so left out and confused when him and his friends talk about video games most of the time and I can never join the conversation because I haven't played the game or I am not interested. He is bad at helping me though.. So I have to find another one of my friends to help me.
Another thing I have to work on is not needing him 24/7. I'm sick of always just waiting around for him or waiting for him to say "hey can we hang?" I'm sick of being that way. I want to just pick up the phone and if it ends up being him, that's cool, but not hope for him to ask to hang.
I'm kind of glad he is gonna be gone for a week. I get to teach myself a few lessons.. Oh, and I have to not worry of everything. It just bothers me when I worry all the time. I have to start caring less. Saying no to Matt every once in awhile. It will make him want me more. He gets to go work on getting a scholarship in Kansas City.. I'm going to teach myself how to care less, start not having bitchy thoughts or complaining, not needing him 24/7, and find someone to help me get into video games..
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