lonely summer nights

You know those days that are just terrible, when you feel so low and sad even though nothing really happened? Last night was the worst I've had in a while. Something sparked it, I guess, but it shouldn't have made me as upset as it did. And I just lay in bed close to tears and shivering and unable to sleep until four in the morning. Not even ice cream of the 3D concert movie could cheer me up (which I haven't seen in months, but I can count on those boys for a smile) and that's how you know it's bad. My depression's coming back - AGAIN - I think. It always seems to be worse in the summer - some nights I just feel so lonely and tired and sad for no real reason. I think this small town's really getting to me, especially when I'm just sitting around the house with nothing to do for days on end.

Summer used to be magical. It used to be a time of possibilities and happiness and - horray - no school! I felt like that a few weeks ago, but now that summer's here, I'm actually eager for school to start again. Around here, summer's too quiet. Terribly, painfully, awfully lonely. Especially in my huge house with no one in it on late nights when everyone's asleep. What used to feel free and magical is now crushing and depressing.

I hate this town. I really do. Forget what I said before - I want the fuck out of here.

feelin so trapped in hometown Olney, surrounded by people but you feel so lonely.

Writer's block is back, too. I have no muse for ASD or Riley. Unforeseen Magic is getting on my nerves. And I lost my notebook that had all my notes for UM. I'm paranoid that one of my parents is going to find it again. God dammit. I'm trying to scrape together a chapter with no success. ><

anybody got livejournal???