Michael. Rant maybe?

I can't stand it anymore. I just want to scream a the top of my lungs and rip my hair out. I thought I was getting over the fact that Michael is gone, but I guess not.

Last night I watched Moonwalker for the first time in months. I was all by myself and I could tell that people were annoyed by my love for Michael. It makes no sense to me why they have to treat me like shit because of who I look up to. Especially, my dad.

My dad was a huge MJ fan back when he was young, and now it's like he has this enormous hate for him. It saddens me to know that my dad, a once loyal fan, has turned his back on Michael because of some assholes who thought it was necessary to say he molested their child.

What pisses me off even more is that my dad has the nerve to say that I'm hopping on to the bandwagon of people who started liking Michael after he died when he knows damn well that I had grown up listening to Michael because of HIM. He knows that he bought me my first Michael Jackson poster when I was younger and that I had told him so many times that I wanted to be like Michael. I really have no idea what in the hell he's talking about hopping onto the bandwagon. There's a difference between hopping on and trying to keep his memory alive.

As I was saying, Here I am watching Moonwalker, a smile on my face that is bigger then a clowns. (Creepy. I know.) The whole time while watching I was thinking, 'wow, he's in a better place now.'

After the movie was over I went on Youtube and just watched watched a bunch of MJ music videos. I was about to get off until I watched a Funny moments with Michael video. I knew I was suppose to be happy but Once I saw him smile it's like my heart just shattered. I wanted to see him smile again and I continued watching more videos. Eventually I started to realize that it was about 3 AM and I was still watching his videos.

It wasn't until a certain video I watched I can't remember the name but I just broke. The first half of the video made me laugh and smile but once it got to the end Michael came up and said, "I want to live forever." I started to cry.

I cried so much that it was crazy.

Why did he have to go? It hurts to think about him not walking this earth any longer. I wish so much that I could just go back in time and somehow prevent Michael from meeting the people who did him wrong in his life. It's been the only dream I've had since he's been gone. Sadly, I know that it wont ever come true.

I just want him back. I want to see him smile. I want to see him dance and sing and just be plain happy.

Yes, I know you're suppose to love everybody, but I have so much hate for those who did anything bad to Michael. If it weren't for those greedy ass monsters trying to bring him down Michael probably would have still been at Neverland trying to have some sort of a childhood. I'd give up my childhood just so Michael could have one.

I know you may think I'm obsessed, but I'm not. I care about him too much. Crazy that I care so much for a guy I've never met, huh? The thing is Michael is different. In a good way. That's what I love about him.

Truth is, I may never get over Michael. Get over it.

R.I.P Michael.

My Hero, My Inspiration, and the King of Music.