Depression?

Well, it seems like every single time life starts to treat me well, things start to go wrong. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess I'm just trying to get rid of all of these emotions that are so overwhelming. I really hope people don't read this is feel sympathetic for me becuase I really hate sympathy. If you're going to care about someone you should care about them all the time, not just when you feel bad for them.

I feel like I've been used and taken advantage of. And all of this isn't just because of one person. So if you're reading this, and you know who you are, trust me I'm not going to be all miserable just because of that one thing you did. I'm going to be all miserable because of all the things that the people closest to me have done to me. Parents, Friends, Family. It seems like everyone's turning against me. I just don't understand what I've done to make people treat me this way. I honestly try my hardest to make everyone happy, but I guess even that isn't enough to please people. I'm a failure.

It's kind of funny how there can be so many things going wrong in life, but you fail to notice all of them becuase your entire focus is on one specific thing. And as soon as that thing is gone from your life you begin to realize all the pain that you've been blocking from your sight. That one little thing brings such a drastic change and pushes you to the point of breaking where you don't know how you're going to make it through to tomorrow because the pain is so unbearable. That's how I feel right now.

I hate when people walk out of your life. It's hard for me to cope with things like this. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going on vacation tomorrow. I should be excited, but instead I'm miserable. I need serious help.

"You've got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away?
We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way."