I'll Smile

You could say I'm being over dramatic; you could also say that I need to be quiet. But everyone, at some point in their life, will feel this way. "The one who got away." Yeah, that's more than a little cliche, but it's true, is it not?

I look at your picture and smile. Yes, how lovely. So many smiles were because of you. Laughter was a constant in my life, because of you. I'm glad that you consider me family. I'm glad that, because I was given time, I can consider you the same. But, it wasn't like that before.

You made my life tragic. I knew tragedy already, of course. But it was you that made me relate my life to love stories; you that let me blissfully exaggerate my own existence. I wanted you to be a lullaby in my dreams. I wanted it all.

I loved you, more than I could ever express. I didn't know this at the time, but I was happy in ignorance. I loved you in all ways that a person could love another person. I enjoyed the good, accepted the bad, and saw perfection lingering in your eyes. I never wanted to change you, because you were all I needed to be happy.

I look at your picture and smile. I remember how you made me feel and I hope I can feel that way again, someday. The day we met was the most life changing day I've experienced yet. It wasn't love at first sight, no. My heart grew to love you over time. I had no control. None. It wasn't logical, but it was as close to magical as I could get.

You taught me what I wanted out of life. You also taught me what I didn't want, what I didn't have to tolerate. You made me realize my value. And you never knew. Not at all.

I was born the day I met you, but I won't die the day you leave. No, time has given me insight and strength. I remember what it was like and smile. I was happy enough to make me cry. And that's really something to smile about!

I want what you gave me a glimpse of. In the meantime, I'll look at your picture and remember and smile. I'll cry tears of joy and thank God for your existence. Yes, how lovely.