Numbness

Numbness. Cold,black,startling -numbness. When you feel nothing, because what you feel, is just unbearable. And then you fight with your self,because you would rather feel the pain, than feel nothing at all.
Pain is easier. Being happy gets harder.Every laugh sounds faker, every smile is bigger..falser..
Everything fades after that. You turn into an empty bag of bones, nothing left, you don’t know if you are alive, nor if you are dead. All you know is that this is wrong.Then you wan’t to let it out, scream, but you have nothing to scream about, just like you have nothing to be happy about.
Your dreams came true, but that doesn’t mean anything.
Your heart got broken, but that is hopeless.
Because you know that what is going on, makes no sense to you, and if it doesn’t,
then what does?
-Numbness; Katrin.

It's pretty old really. I mean, I wrote it in '09 or '08. So that means I wrote it when I was either 11 or 12. Sick.